Only the Lonely

I can't recall a year in my life in which I've experienced so much emotional pain. My close relationships have been colored by death or disease or misinterpreting someone else's emotions due to my own desperate need for light at the end of the tunnel. So much of my life has been spent alone that I've turned to specific songs over the years for solace, to somehow fill the void. These tunes don't necessarily cheer me up, but they help me hold on until the pain softened and the tears stopped, which they eventually do.


I first heard The Motels back in the early 80s when I was working at a suburban Boston radio station, surrounded by relationships but unable to form one myself.The song on their 1981 album "All Four One" (Capitol) that had the most impact on me was Martha Davis' existential LA lament "Only The Lonely" (Not to be confused with the Roy Orbison song). Fortunately, she is still recording; you can get the latest information about her and the band by visiting http://www.marthadavis.com/. One part of the site has excerpts from an interview with Martha, in which she describes herself as a child: "I was a loner...awkward and self-deprecating. Not much has changed.."( (c) 2007 The MotelsMarthaDavis ) Most people I know would agree that this fits me perfectly.


Only The Lonely created a vision for me, evoking the emptiness of the so-called modern world, the existential groping between people trying to connect. Her dramatic vocal paints a picture of a lost relationship: "We walk the loneliest mile / We smile without any style/ We kiss altogether wrong / No intention". ( Martha Davis / Clean Sheets Music/BMI) My interpretation was the sensation of waking up in a relationship, realizing , as so many people do, that you've pushed yourself or been pushed into a love affair that was a mistake from the beginning, but you cling together out of fear. As the refrain echoes" It's like I told you/ Only the lonely can play" (Martha Davis / Clean Sheets Music /BMI) .

So often in life we drift aimlessly from one failed attempt at love to another, allowed ourselves to be bruised because we feel we need companionship. The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to see things for what they really are. At times like this, I appreciate the insight of artists like Martha Davis.