Selling Christmas By The Pound

I got the impression this year that retailers could barely wait for Halowe'en to be over so they could flip to Christmas merchandise. I understand that - with the recession being over and all - we are gearing up to go spend money for the holidays but starting holiday promotions in October? True, the situation is a bit desperate this year, since, even though the recession is absolutely, positively over, America's megastores are hungry for shoppers with deep pockets, as well as being worried that they won't get their share of the alleged loot, so who can blame them for ruining yet another holiday by starting the frenzy early?

Along with the tacky, overblown decorations comes my most despised sign of the season- Christmas music. True- with the recession being definitively, without-a-doubt, take my word for it, over - we have a lot to celebrate, so I shouldn't be surprised if some radio stations cranked up the carols right after playing "Monster Mash" for the 300th time. But, after you relive those comforting memories evoked by Bing Crosby, Johnny Mathis, Nat King Cole, Gene Autry. etc., what's left? Programming the "hottest" carols in rapid Top 40 rotation, backed by "recurrent" carols (The term is supposed to mean songs that are so monumental the audience always likes to hear them again) or "solid gold" carols? I can just envision the Billboard Christmas music charts - "O Little Town of Bethlehem" Number 7 with a bullet. I don't mind listening to carols on Christmas morning from, say, 10:00 to 11:00 AM, but not around the clock , 24/7, commercial free.

Probably, my aversion to Christmas music just means I'm cranky and nasty and out of step with the fact that - now that the recession has been officially declared over by leading economic experts - we have a lot to be happy about. Music aside, I really think the only who'll be jovial this season is Santa, assuming his mortgage compsany doesn't foreclose on the North Pole and he's not forced into early retirement. In all honesty - even though the recession is sort of, kind of, almost, maybe over?- despite the happy tunes and mindless markdowns, Santa's sleigh will probably be a little less full this year. Just remember, the recession IS over, right?