Van Halen Tour DOA

At first read, the Van Halen reunion tour sounded like the spike in the vein that the record industry - I mean, the CD industry - or, more appropriately , the music CONTENT companies needed. You could just imagine the promo guys walking around, muttering: "It's huge. Huge." The Val Halen nuclear family and black sheep David Lee Roth tear up the major venues across the known universe, giving us all one last chance to hear Eddie's frantic guitar solo on the re-make of "You Really Got Me" as well as David Lee intoning : " Have you seen Juniors grades lately?", followed by a double live album to make the cash register ring even louder, not to mention the merchandise tie-ins and the maelstrom of publicity. It was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow until Eddie was a no-show at the Rock and Rock Hall of Fame induction, simultaneously bailing out before they even started rehearsing. I'm sorry that he can't crawl out of the bottle, but I think he did the band a favor.

The glitz is gone. The brown M & M stories these days sound more like mindless petulance rather than some kind of statement against corporate rock. Bringing legendary acts back from the dead sounds good, but the animosity between the players means separate suites - separate hotels is more like it - and as little contact as possible, except onstage for a few hours. Since money is the motivating factor, it follows that the hapless fans will have to dig into their kids' college fund to come up with the ticket price.

That's the key- the fans. The party animals that would once upon a time sample everything they could get their hands on just to get cranked up for the show are older, with babies and jobs and wives. Their idea of a good time is a massive home stereo-theater combination, that recreates the concert hall feeling right in your own study - minus the sweat, puke, screams and adrenalin rush. Van Halen is not the type of band that encourages multi-generation loyalty - the father-son/mother-daughter approach to the Stones or the Who, for example - because their music doesn't really have as much staying power. It was flashy, hip and overwhelming at the time - but that was then. Why would their fans pony up all that coin to sit in on folding chairs when they can lean back on a leather couch and get the same buzz?

It's hard sometimes to know when to stop, but Neil Young was on to something when he said it was better to burn out than fade away. The Van Halen tour started fading out as soon as it was announced